Unbroken Bond
by Gumdrop1
Summary: Living in a world he doesn’t remember, Archer deals with his past with T’Pol. Set in "Twlight" universe


Title: Unbroken Bond

Author: Gumdrop

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Enterprise L

Summary: Living in a world he doesn't remember, Archer deals with his past with T'Pol

Author's Notes: This was written for Kat's Song and "Twilight" challenges. Song is "Come On Come On" by Mary-Chapin Carpenter, lyrics are at the end. Also I remember someone saying on CAVe that because it never said that Archer and T'Pol hadn't met before "Broken Bow" that it would be interesting to delve into what could have been in their past. I don't remember who said it but this fits that criteria too. Now on to the story!

Jonathan Archer paced around the small house. He felt numb. Earth had been destroyed. It was his fault. If he had been stronger, faster, he would've gotten the beam off T'Pol's leg sooner and gotten them out of the path of the anomaly before it had had a chance to hit him. Then he wouldn't have been affected by the parasites. He would've remained in command of Enterprise. Then, maybe, just maybe, Earth would still be there.

Jonathan stopped pacing and wiped away the tears that were fast slipping down his cheeks. He looked around the room trying to take his mind off the terrible truth. It was neat, very neat. Yet it sill felt warm and homey. The meals had been strange, but delectable. T'Pol was evidently the kind of homemaker that would've made Martha Stewart jealous. He smiled at that thought; it was almost like she was his wife. _Don't go there_. Jonathan thought. T'Pol wasn't his wife. She was his caregiver, his nurse, if there was anymore to it then that it was that she was his friend now as well. She would never be more to him then that. She stayed out of responsibility, repaying a debt because he had saved her from the anomaly. That was all, she had never loved him and she never would. Logically he knew he should put such things behind him, but Jonathan Archer was not a logical man. And his past with T'Pol was a patchwork of complicated emotions and circumstances. What part of it was real and what part was imagined? How much had he altered the memories to please his own heart? Jonathan looked towards the kitchen where T'Pol was. Was she giving him his space or avoiding him? Did he even really want to know? Yes. With everything that had happened he needed to know what had happened between them, needed to know what T'Pol had meant when she said that their relationship had 'evolved'. So he headed towards the kitchen.

Meanwhile in the kitchen T'Pol sat at the table looking through one of Jonathan's photo albums. One the first page there was a picture of a young couple in Paris. He had told her once that they were his great grandparents. She had looked through this book many times before, so she knew what the back of the photo had written on it; _1948 Paris, France_. Jonathan had also told her that the picture had been taken on the last day of their honeymoon. She turned the page.

The next picture was of Jonathan's mother and father on the last day of their honeymoon, also in Paris. T'Pol had questioned if Paris was a common honeymoon destination. He had told her that it was an Archer family tradition. Archers had been honeymooning in Paris for generations. He had said that because all the Archer newlyweds who had honeymooned there had gone on to have long and happy marriages it was believed to be good luck. She had replied that the idea of luck was illogical, he had told her that that wasn't the point. It was tradition, a tradition he would never get to be a part of. He never said that it was her fault, that he blamed her. She knew that he didn't think those things, but she did. He had offered her everything, but she refused to trust in his love for her. Because of that, they would never get to honeymoon in Paris.

She turned the page again. It was Jonathan. It was the night of his senior prom; he was standing beside his date who was older then he and refused to smile for the camera. Vulcans don't smile.

YEARS AGO -

"No. Not her, anyone but her."

"Jonathan please, as a favor to me."

"No Dad, I'm not taking a Vulcan to my senior prom."

"Why not? It's not like you have a date."

"Sure, rub that in. It's humiliating enough to go stag but that's still better then going with a Vulcan."

"Enterprise is very important to me Jonathan."

"What does she have to do with Enterprise?"

"She's the daughter of one of the most prominent scientists that are helping us with the warp five project."

"You mean one of the scientists that is holding you back on the warp five project."

"Jonathan."

"She's old."

"She only twenty eight. Besides, Vulcan's age slower, you wouldn't know she was that old to look at her."

"I don't care. I'm not taking someone who is almost thirty to my prom. I'll be humiliated."

"We're a family. Families do things for each other. Help each other out."

"No." The doorbell rang.

"Fine then you can tell her yourself that you don't want to take her." Jonathan frowned. He had not expected that his father had already agreed to the arrangement.

"That was low Dad, really low." Henry Archer smiled.

"I know. But I really want that ship."

"And I really want my own car."

"I'll think about it." Henry Archer went to open the door. "Doctor Seren, how good it is to see you. Come on in."

"Thank you Mr. Archer." Henry motioned to Jonathan who stepped closer.

"Dr. Saren, this is my son Jonathan."

"Nice to meet you Doctor." Jonathan replied. The Vulcan doctor inclined his head.

"Jonathan, Mr. Archer, this is my daughter T'Pol. He indicated behind him at the girl who was staring in the mirror in the foyer. She stepped closer, locking eyes with Jonathan who had to remind himself to breath. She was incredible. Long brown hair, green eyes that sparkled like the ocean, soft pouty lips, and the figure of a runway model. Even her pointed ears looked sexy. Jonathan felt his father poke him in the side and he closed his mouth which had been hanging open in shock.

"It's nice to meet you T'Pol." She inclined her head as her father had done. "Here." Jonathan went over to the small table in front of the mirror T'Pol had standing in front of. He pick up a clear plastic box containing a flower and returned to stand in front of her. He opened the box and took out the flower that T'Pol now noticed was decorated with delicate blue ribbons; the flowers themselves were white and smelled like vanilla. He held it out to her. "This is for you." T'Pol raised a questioning eyebrow. "It's a corsage. You're supposed to wear it on your wrist." He held opened the elastic band.

"Why?" Jonathan thought about it for a minuet, but couldn't come up with an answer.

"It's a token of affection."

"How can you feel affection for me, you only met me a few moments ago?"

"It's also given as a thank you for your company." She looked up at her father who nodded his head. She repressed the annoyed little sigh she was feeling and slipped her hand through the elastic band.

"Shall we then?" The eyebrow was raised again. "Shall we go to the prom now."

"That is why I am here." Now it was Jonathan's turn to suppress a sigh of annoyance. Vulcans. Jonathan and T'Pol turned to leave.

"Wait!" Yelled Henry excitedly. "I want to get a picture of the two of you before you go." Henry ran to get the camera while Jonathan and T'Pol turned back around. "Smile." Jonathan did, T'Pol didn't. They headed for the prom.

To say that T'Pol was nervous was an understatement. She was terrified. Alone in a .... "What is this vehicle called again?" she asked.

"A car." Alone in a car with a strange human male on her way to a party that would contain more humans. How had she let her father talk her into this? He had spoken to her like a scientist, saying how she would have the unique opportunity to observe adolescent humans up close in the field. But in her opinion this was way too close for comfort. Because it was still daylight, and they didn't call California the Sunshine State for nothing Jonathan had put the visor down on T'Pol's side. T'Pol undid the hair clip she had in and adjusted her hair so that it hid her ears. Jonathan gave her a confused look but said nothing. When she got out of the car she realized she didn't have any pockets to put the clip in. Jonathan picked up on it and offered to hold it for her. He put it in his pocket.

Jonathan and T'Pol were one of the first couples to arrive at the prom. He found them seats and got the opportunity to explain why he was holding her chair out.

"May I get you something to drink or nibble on?"

"Nibble on?"

"Something to eat."

"I don't eat animal products."

"I know." Jonathan appeared slightly frustrated and walked away. As he filled a plate for her he considered his frustration. He didn't really have a right to be angry with her, she hadn't done anything wrong. How was she supposed to know that he already knew that all Vulcans were vegetarians? No, he had a right to be angry with his father for forcing him on this date, a right to be angry with the Vulcans who were holding his father's work back, but he had no right to be angry with T'Pol. None of this was her fault. He looked at her sitting at the small table in the corner all by herself. Despite how much older then he she was supposed to be she didn't look it. She looked small and fragile sitting there alone. And oh so beautiful. _Vulcan _He chastised himself. _Don't forget she's Vulcan._ With that mantra set in his mind he picked up two bottles of water, two forks, and headed back towards his date.

"Here." He sat the plate down in between them and a fork and bottle of water down in front of her. She picked up the fork and skewered a piece of raw broccoli. She held it up in front of her and gave it a visual examination. "You shouldn't look at your food like a foreign object."

"It is a foreign object to me." _Vulcans._ Archer sighed.

"It's also a vegetable. Try it." T'Pol nibbled at the broccoli. Jonathan smiled and let out a small laugh. T'Pol looked up at him. Had she done something inappropriate? "You're nibbling." T'Pol did not allow any of her apprehension to show through. She raised an eyebrow at Jonathan. "Earlier you seemed confused when I used the term nibble. The way you're eating, that's the definition of nibbling."

"Why did you find it amusing?"

"You didn't know what I meant but in a way you did."

"I still do not understand." Jonathan sighed. This was going to be a long night.

"I'm not sure I know how else to explain it. I just found it funny." T'Pol gave him a look he didn't quite understand and went back to nibbling the broccoli.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Vulcans only dance for ceremonial purposes."

"That doesn't answer my question." Two could play at her little Vulcan mind games.

"No, I would not like to dance." Jonathan sighed again. It was going to be a long night indeed.

T'Pol closed the photo album and stared out the window. No matter how hard she had tried to forget it the memory of that night it refused to be erased from her memory.

Their conversations had been tentative at first, but it hadn't taken them long to warm up to each other. She had been surprised at how intelligent and articulate he was. And despite his young age he seemed very wise. Though she had tried to fight it she couldn't help but be drawn to him.

"So what do you think of Earth?"

"It is an...interesting planet."

"How so?"

"It is very diverse."

"Vulcan isn't diverse?"

"Not so much as Earth."

"What about San Francisco?"

"What about it?"

"What do you think about it?" She paused for a moment, thinking.

"The Golden Gate Bridge is an interesting piece of architecture."

"Have you ever been there?"

"No."

"Maybe I could take you someday. I could bring a picnic lunch, give you the grand tour."

"That is unlikely, I am leaving Earth tomorrow." Jonathan's heart sank. He had just met her, how could she leave? It wasn't fair.

"But you just got here."

"On the contrary, I've been on Earth for almost a year." She was interesting and he was enjoying her company. And despite anything he told himself was possible before coming here he was beginning to like her. It didn't seem fair that he would never see her again.

"What about now then?"

"What about it?" He must be beginning to like her, he didn't even mind that she was infuriating.

"What about going to see the Golden Gate Bridge right now?"

"My Father said I was not to go anywhere with you except for this social activity."

"So don't tell him."

"Are you suggesting that I lie to my Father?"

"No, I'm simply saying that you adopt a don't ask don't tell policy. That's not the same thing as lying." T'Pol considered it. While Jonathan was technically right it was only technically. Her Father had told her not to go anywhere else with this human. It would be wrong to disobey him. Then again it would not be her first time doing so either. Did she want to see the Golden Gate Bridge up close or not? Tonight would be her last chance"

"All right." Jonathan smiled.

Jonathan drove down an old River Road that had a good view of the Golden Gate Bridge. He parked the car and got an old emergency blanket out of the trunk. It wasn't very large, barley enough for the two of them to sit on, but it would have to do. He laid it down on the grass. T'Pol watched him intently. When he was finished he went over and opened her door. She just sat there.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I just...: She trailed off and Jonathan was left to fill in the blanks of her statement.

"I'd never hurt you T'Pol." She gave him a serious look as she judged the validity of his statement. He gave her a moment to consider it, then he spoke again.

"Come on. It's a nice view of the bridge and if you get bored with that I'll point out all the earth constellations.

"I'm familiar with them already." Archer frowned, she was being incorrigible.

"Then we'll make up our own."

"Make up our own?" She questioned.

"Yes. Come on T'Pol. Give it a chance. It's getting late now and we didn't come all this way just so you could sit in the car and give me strange looks all night." Jonathan held out his hand to T'Pol. She looked at it, considering. She shouldn't have been there. But she was. Did she dare go any further?

"It's fun. It's a stretch of the imagination. Vulcans do have imaginations don't they?" He teased. She gave him a look and then got out and sat down on the blanket. They stared at the Golden Gate Bridge for a long time. Eventually Jonathan laid back and began looking at the stars. When T'Pol eventually did the same he spoke up.

"Would you like to start?"

"No thank you." Jonathan looked towards the stars and relaxed his mind.

"Do you see the group of stars over there?" He pointed them out for her.

"Yes."

"I think they look like a house. Do you see? There is the pointed roof, there is the door." He turned to see her expression. He knew in his mind that she was Vulcan, still there was a small part of him that expected her to express emotion.

"I can. . . understand how you could possible perceive the shape to be similar to that of the house." Jonathan gave her a strange look at her even stranger words.

"Planning on being a lawyer?" Jonathan teased. T'Pol gave him a confused look for his efforts. He laughed. "Never mind." He said. They talked about the stars for a while longer, T'Pol eventually admitted that a few of them resembled a piece of broccoli. Jonathan found that to be very humorous though he didn't know whether she had intended it to be so or not.

Later Jonathan propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at T'Pol. Looking at her he did not understand how he had survived his entire life without knowing her. Worse he didn't know how he was going to survive the rest of his life without her. She was leaving tomorrow and he would never see her again. The seemed to fit so easily together, like they were meant to be. So, on a whim he kissed her. And she let him.

T'Pol sat there in the kitchen with the photo album on her lap. She was staring off into space, remembering. Some of the memories had faded over time, as memories tend to do. She had forgotten parts of their conversations, or what day of the week it was the night they met, but the sensory memories were extremely clear. The taste of his lips on hers, the smell of his skin, the feel of the damp grass on her bare back when they had inadvertally rolled off the blanket, the sounds of her own whimpers and moans of pleasure that even her strict Vulcan training could not keep contained, and most of all she had remembered the intense look in his eyes as they had made love for hours.

A shiver ran up her spine as she thought back to that night. It was the crown jewel of her memory. What she had done the next morning was her biggest regret.

T'Pol felt herself being to come out of sleep. She felt warm and content wrapped up on Jonathan's arms and mind and so she desperately tried to will herself back to sleep. The maneuver was futile of course, her internal clock was wound far to tight to allow herself to go back to sleep.

So she sat up, pulling the blanket to her to try and hide her nakedness . _From who? _There was no one around except Jonathan and herself, the sun had barely begun to creep over the horizon. And hiding herself from Jonathan now hardly erased what had happened last night. At the time she had given in to her desires, convincing herself that it was just experimentation. But as she sat there on the damp grass, the small blanket wrapped around her, gazing down at her still sleeping mate she knew she could no longer placate her mind with that excuse. She could feel his mind in hers, trying to draw her back into sleep. That was all well and good now, but what happened when he woke up? He had said things to her last night, wonderful things of love and forever. Where they true? Even if they were what did it matter? Right now it was new and exciting for him. But there were realties for star-crossed lovers, consequences that she wasn't sure he was willing to face. And he was so young. Now was one thing, but ten years from now was another. Eventually he would regret their union. Right now she could feel his love for her coursing through her veins. She didn't want to lose that feeling, didn't want to feel it when he stopped loving her. So she did what she thought was logical, she left. Left Jonathan, left earth, no goodbyes, no 'I'll write' s, just left.

When she was reassigned to earth years later she searched for a way to avoid the assignment. There were none. She would have to return to earth, have to face her bond mate again. Still, San Francisco was a big city, it was unlikely that she would run into him, especially if she did not stray from the compound. Those thought made her feel slightly better. Despite her fear of a confrontation with Jonathan, in the end she was the one who sought him out.

By then she was older and wiser, or so she thought. She followed him, followed him on the same night that he graduated from flight school. Followed him to West Gate Ave. Though he had never knew it, she had been there when he proposed to Margaret Mullen.

_Marry her?_ she thought. She could sense his admiration for her, his fondness of her, but it was nowhere near the all-encompassing love he'd felt for herself that night. How could he possibly want to spend the rest of his life with this woman?

T'Pol watched Margaret stand there in shock. She was obviously not expecting Jonathan's proposal. T'Pol's heart ached with the realization that it could've been her, should've been her. She should never have left.

T'Pol pulled back from around the building she been hiding behind and let herself slide down the wall to a sitting position. The emotional pain was excruciating. And for the first time in her life, T'Pol felt regret. She heard Margaret say something about how much she loved Jon. Jon, she had called him Jon. She told 'Jon' that being in Starfleet was too important to him and that she did not want to become a Starfleet widow. She told him that she wouldn't marry him if he remained in Starfleet. Remained in Starfleet, she hadn't actually said no, she had given him an ultimatum, herself or Starfleet.

T'Pol leaned back around the building and observed as Jonathan stood there, staring at Margaret. He was thinking, considering. In the end he decided that he loved Starfleet more than he loved Margaret Mullen and he walked away. And though Jonathan had felt he had made the right decision it still hurt to be rejected, again. He had felt alone and abandoned since T'Pol had left him that night. He had hoped, even though he knew it to be misguided, that Margaret would fill the void in his life that T'Pol had created. For it is a sad person who believes they have found their true love only to be rejected by them. T'Pol felt his despair, and although she was angry regarding the events that she had just witness she couldn't leave him like that. He was her mate. So she followed him back to his apartment. When he opened the door to her he looked stunned, but he allowed her in and didn't say any of the angry words he had been planning on saying to her if he ever saw her again. T'Pol stayed the night. Despite the fact that T'Pol was older and understood the illogic of her past mistakes, fear and uncertainty won again out in the end. T'Pol left the next morning before Jonathan awoke.

And then there had been Enterprise. What was she supposed to do? Go to the Ambadassador and say that she could not take the assignment because she became bond mate to the captain 24 years ago, ran away from him without explanation and now she did not wish to face him? No, she would have to face her bond mate once again.

Her knuckles had turned white as she'd walked down the corridor carrying her transfer orders. He had to know it was she. Her superiors would've sent over information regarding her including a picture. There was no way that he could not know that it was she.

When she went in he gave her no greeting of familiarity and certainly there was no greeting of a mate. She was illogically disappointed. He after all knew nothing of how mated Vulcans were supposed to greet each other. _And whose fault is that?_ Her conscious seemed to whisper to her. _You cannot blame him for not treating you with the respect that one's mate should deserve, you are an undeserving mate. You abandoned him. You abandoned your bond. _Still, she snapped at him anyway, even though it did not make her feel better.

Because he was not alone in his office she was unable to say anything to him. He was not alone at dinner either. And though they had had a few moments to themselves Jonathan avoided the subject of their past, scolded her for calling him by his first name while on duty, and forced her to participate in small talk. But she had decided that she would not allow him to avoid her forever. That first night on Enterprise she went to Jonathan's quarters.

She had stood at his door for ten minutes pressing the chime and waiting. He wasn't going to let her in. He knew it was her. The bond that had been created so long ago allowed them to sense each other's presence.

She suppressed a sigh of annoyance. T'Pol would be patience with him no longer, she pushed the button and let herself in.

Jonathan was sitting on the bed, bouncing a ball up against the paneling. T'Pol took the sound in. It sounded hollow, it sounded like she felt, like she had caused him to feel. Then T'Pol opened her mouth to speak.

"Why should I listen to anything you have to say?" Archer interrupted her before she could get a single word out.

"Because I am your mate." She stated, as if that was all the explanation that was necessary.

"Are you now?" He said coldly. She could feel the pain and anger radiating off of him. Their intensity frightened her.

"Vulcans bond telepathically with their mates. We bonded that first night. Mating bonds are for life."

"Is that why you keep coming to me? You have an itch you can't scratch with anyone else but me due to this 'bond'."

"No."

"Then why?"

"I came here tonight to talk."

"So talk then. If you don't want to be with me then why did you come to me that night in San Francisco?"

"You needed me."

"How would you know what the hell I need.? You're never around long enough to know anything about me!" T'Pol blinked and looked away. He was right. He was her bond mate, and she had abandoned him and their bond time and again.

"I am sorry I have hurt you." Archer wanted to be angry at her, heavens know she deserved it for the hell she had put him through. But he still loved her, and he just couldn't bring himself to be angry with her. He sighed.

"And I'm sorry you're stuck with me." Archer said.

"I am not."

"You could've fooled me!" Jonathan got up and began to pace around the room. What was she supposed to say to that. T'Pol sighed and wondered if it was possible to ever repair the damage she had done.

"At the time I believed I was taking the logical course of action. I was concerned that your affection for me would not last. I did not want to be around when you ultimately left me."

"I still love you, and I'm not the one who keeps leaving."

"I have read Romeo and Juliet. We are star crossed lovers you and I. What hope did you really think that there was for us?"

"A lot when you consider the fact that I would've done anything to be with you."

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"You could have asked as much." He snapped. T'Pol looked away again.

"As much as I would like to erase the mistakes of my past I cannot. I am still you're mate if you will have me. If so, you know where to find me." T'Pol turned around and left. Jonathan heaved a sigh.

Jonathan walked into the kitchen and looked at T'Pol staring into space. He wondered what she was thinking.

"I was thinking about the past events regarding our relationship." She smiled. They were still connected. Despite all the fights, hurt feelings and avoidance their bond had never dulled in the least. He took notice of the book on her lap.

"What's that?"

"A photo album."

"Can I see?" She nodded her head. Jonathan pulled another chair around to sit beside her and they began looking through the album. When they got to a picture of the crew he stopped. He stared at it for a long time before he spoke.

"The Captain's uniform looks good on you."

"Thank you." She said dully.

"I'm surprised you'd wear a Starfleet uniform."

"You suggested it. You said it might show the crew that I was still in charge and was not planning on abandoning them."

"Oh."

"Besides you took the time to alter it for me."

"Alter it?"

"The uniform is one of yours. We were running low on supplies and you did not need it anymore. I stated that I could have the quartermaster alter it but you insisted on doing it yourself. It gave you something to do that was helpful. I did not want to take that away from you."

"I hope I didn't poke you with any straight pins."

"You didn't." She paused. "Jonathan there is more to that story."

"Tell me." So she did.

T'Pol handed the uniform back to Jonathan. He offered her a curious expression in exchange. He turned his head as she began to undress. In T'Pol's mind it was illogical for her to change in the bathroom, Jonathan was her mate, there no reason hide from him. Despite the illogic of it she still felt nervous and slightly embarrassed. This was not the same as their experiences in deacon.

When she was finished she looked up at Jonathan only to see that he had turned his head. She felt disappointed somehow. She took the uniform out of his hands and began to put it on.

"All right." T'Pol stated. Jonathan turned around and smiled. His uniform was very big on her. He reached out and tugged at the material in various places. Not so much testing the garments' fit as testing T'Pol. It had been a long time since he had been this close to her. Deacon certainly didn't count, nor did the dreams.

Archer adjusted the uniform on T'Pol, placing pins to mark where adjustments would have to be made. She watched him work, all the while trying to repress the memories of his hands on her bare skin. Little did she know that he was thinking, or rather trying not to think about the very same thing.

"Ok. I'm done. Step out of it very carefully." She did as he instructed, his strong hands gently guiding the material off her being careful to make sure she did not get stuck with a pin. She watched his hands. She had missed them, the comfort, and the security. Her very skin itself seemed to miss his touch. Why had she thrown that all away?

"I regret." The words sounded hollow, void of emotion, as if her very soul had been drained.

She spoke to no one in particular.

"What?"

"I regret. I've never felt it before, but I do now. I regret." She refused to look him in the eye. The expression on her face look distant, pained.

"You regret." He repeated back to her. "And that's supposed to make it better?"

"No." She looked at him. Her voice sounded hollow, empty. "There is nothing that can make it better. I am your mate and I abandoned you. You made me feel emotions I had never experienced before. They were new and wonderful, but the next morning when I was considering what you'd be sacrificing to be with me. . .I was afraid that you would decide it wasn't worth it. That I wasn't worth it. I didn't want to feel your rejection of me. So I left." Her eyes grew distant and Jonathan couldn't help but feel sorry for her. But is wasn't enough, he wanted to know more.

"And that night when you came to my apartment, why didn't you stay then?"

"Despite the comfort you found in me, despite the contentment I seemed to bring you I could feel the anger you felt towards me. Because of our bond I still heard the words you did not say. Not wanting to face the mistakes of my past I left, too naive to know I was only making worse mistakes. Digging myself in deeper is what I believe you humans call it."

Jonathan sighed. "That doesn't make it better." He said dryly. T'Pol looked away disappointed. Logically she did not expect him to forgive her. But she could sense that he still loved her, so she couldn't help but keep hoping, illogically that one day he would forgive her. Obviously that day was not going to be today.

"T'Pol I . . ." He closed his mouth. What was he supposed to say to her? There was certainly nothing she could say or do that would change the past, nothing that would take away the pain and hurt that he had and still felt. But was that hurt really stronger than the bond between them? They were one, they had been since that first night together in San Francisco and they would be forever more. She was sorry. That should be enough to give her another chance. And even if she left in the morning he wouldn't remember this time, the parasites would prevent him from any further pain.

T'Pol heard his thoughts but said nothing else. She felt a stab of guilt when he thought of her leaving again. But she did not defend herself any further, she didn't feel that she deserved to. Instead she tried to bury the pain and regret of her past mistakes and live in the moment. And that's what she did as she felt Jonathan slip his uniform the rest of the way off her body and she matched him kiss for kiss.

"And . . ." Jonathan asked. T'Pol pulled her hand away from his, she didn't want to share with him the pain she always felt at his accusing words. No, that was her punishment for past mistakes, hers and hers alone.

"I was there when you woke up that morning and I have been there every morning since."

"Have you now?" He said angrily and walked away from her. He stared out at the kitchen window. There was a hammock out back. It looked soft and welcoming and he wondered if they had ever. . ._NO!_ he thought to himself. You're angry at her.

"This must be a cozy little operation you have here. You can break my heart as many times as you like and I can't remember. And I always come running back to you don't I?" Because I never remember the pain you caused me the previous day. You always get what you want, you always win."

T'Pol slammed the photo album closed with enough force to make Jonathan flinch. He turned around as she stood up. Their eyes locked and the very room itself seemed to hold it's breath. She was angry, he could see it in her eyes. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

"You are correct, I do." Then she turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen. Jonathan sighed and considered what had just transpired between them. Why was he so angry with her? Was it because of how she had abandoned him in the past? If so then his anger was unwarranted, he had let the past go a long time ago, there was no need to dig that hurt up now. What else was there that he could be angry with her for? His memory loss? That was certainly not her fault. Did he blame her for earth's destruction? Heavens no, he banished that thought as quickly as it came to him. Was it the part where she turned her back on her entire family, career, and planet so she could come with him into the expanse and help him save his planet? Or was it when she was given the chance to return home with any shred of dignity and instead came to take care of him on some god forsaken rock in the middle of nowhere? Jonathan sighed again. How could he be so heartless? She had more than made up for any mistakes she had made in the past. Besides, life shouldn't be about keeping score of who hurts who. He loved her, that should be enough, that was enough. The past was just that, past. Let it stay there, he wasn't going to let it get in the way of their happiness now. With a deep breath and a renewed sense of courage Jonathan was about to go off to find T'Pol when he heard her voice.

"Come on." He gave her a confused look.

"It's getting late." She held out her hand and her eyes glistened with a passion he didn't remember seeing for a long time. He slowly reached up and placed his hand in hers. They both stepped closer to one another. He whispered in her ear.

"T'Pol I'm . . ."

"Shhh." she held a finger to his lips to silence him. "I understand." She began to walk backwards, leading him toward the bedroom. All the fights, all the hurt and anger they got dug up vanished. They were bond mates, nothing else mattered but the love they felt for each other.

Come On Come On - Mary-Chapin Carpenter

Some people remember the first time

Some can't forget the last

Some just select what they want to from the past

It's the song that you danced to in high school

It's the moon you tried to bring down

On a four in the morning drive through the streets of town

Come on come on, it's getting late now

Come on come on, take my hand

Come on come on, you just have to whisper

Come on come on, I will understand

It's a photograph taken in Paris at the end of the honeymoon

In 1948 late in the month of June

Your parents smiled for the camera

In the sienna shades of light

Now you're older then they were then that summer night

Come on come on, it's getting late now

Come on come on, take my hand

Come on come on, you just have to whisper

Come on come on, I will understand

It's a need you never get used to

So fierce and so confused

It's a loss you never get over the first time you lose

And tonight I am thinking of someone

Seventeen years ago

We rode in his daddy's car down the River Road

Come on come on, it's getting late now

Come on come on, take my hand

Come on come on, you just have to whisper

Come on come on, I will understand

Come on come on, it's getting late now

Come on come on, take my hand

Come on come on, you just have to whisper

Come on come on, I will understand


End file.
